{"id":1038,"date":"2015-02-17T14:49:40","date_gmt":"2015-02-17T19:49:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/svetanyc.com\/?p=1038"},"modified":"2015-09-29T20:30:43","modified_gmt":"2015-09-30T00:30:43","slug":"the-notes-of-a-cancerous-girl-february-2015","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/192.168.2.119:1984\/svetanyc\/2015\/02\/the-notes-of-a-cancerous-girl-february-2015\/","title":{"rendered":"The Notes of a Cancerous Girl. February 2015"},"content":{"rendered":"

Friday-Tuesday, January 30-February 3, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n

Is this the end? Does the last chemo qualify as the end of the treatment? Does it end the cancer? Will it be the beginning of a new life? Is this the last chemo? Is this the last treatment? There are so many questions, but for the moment in time, I\u00a0am taking a deep breath believing that this is the end.<\/p>\n

I didn’t wait for the last cycle, my superstitious self was afraid to look that far forward though, of course, I knew the day – Tuesday, February 3, 2015. And the day has come, at last.<\/p>\n

The New York Presbyterian Weill Cornell<\/a> admission office called at 8 am when I was still in bed and asked me to come in as soon as I was ready. Dimitris and I headed over at 9.30 am and were promptly checked in and placed in a ward 207A Central. Out of 8 times in the hospital, I spent most of my time in the Central. I knew the protocol and the usual routine – the nurse would access my double port, fix the catheters, draw blood and wait for the results.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_4034\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Meanwhile, one of the PAs dropped by to acquire about changes in my condition. By now, she is\u00a0well aware of all the new medications\/conditions\/appointments I acquired in a two-week break we haven’t seen each other. When the blood results come in, a PA will issue an order for chemo – first for Rituxan<\/a> and then for the first 24 hour pack – Doxorubicin<\/a> and Etoposide<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I didn’t get my first pack before 3.15 pm, so I spent time walking around the 10th floor. Logging 10,000 steps a day is my goal when I am in the hospital. I move and it makes me feel accomplished at least in something. Before hooking me up on Rituxan, I was given the usual Tylenol<\/a>, Benadryl<\/a> and Aloxi<\/a> (the 72-hour anti-nausea medication).\u00a0Zofran<\/a> wasn’t working for me anymore, they call it a cumulative effect of chemotherapy. First time on Rituxan scared the hell out of me, so I prefer to spend time with my first pack in bed, plus Benadryl makes me really sleepy, which helps, it speeds things up.<\/p>\n

At around 7 pm, I was placed on my first 24-hour brown pack, at the rate of 43.3 ml\/h, which is the hospital standard but by then, I already requested to speed my packs up to 55 ml\/h starting from the pack number 2. It cuts the time by 5-6\u00a0hours per pack. Along with my regular medications (Nexium<\/a>, Colace<\/a>, Lyrica<\/a>, Bactrim DS,<\/a> Valtrex<\/a>, Entecavir<\/a>, Senna<\/a>, Ambien<\/a>, Warfarin<\/a>, Diltiazem cream<\/a>, Cilest<\/a>, Biotene<\/a> and Magic Mouthwash<\/a>), they added magnesium<\/a>\u00a0to my list.<\/p>\n

On the second day, I got acquainted with my roommate, Yekaterina and her husband Igor. Yekaterina is a 78 y.o. newly diagnosed leukemia<\/a> patient. She and he husband immigrated from St. Petersburg<\/a>\u00a030 years ago in order for her to get a free kidney transplant in the US, after which she went to get a pace-maker<\/a>, and brain aneurysm<\/a> and now, cancer; while her husband, unable to learn English and find a job became her full time caregiver. On Sunday, they celebrated their 51st wedding anniversary and I can’t describe in words how much love, care, passion and most importantly humor they have for each other. Yekaterina, despite her severe health condition, age and nearly deafness, was always courteous and merry. I was even more amazing to find out that Yekaterina, as a child, survived the entire siege of Leningrad<\/a> in 1940s.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, I continued to\u00a0walk, read, watch Stanford<\/a> classes online, I made myself busy. Luckily, this time around, I didn’t have many side effects I experienced during my early chemotherapies such as chest pains, weakness, constipation, only nausea. I made new friends in the hospital, who were on the same protocol as me, only\u00a0a few cycles behind. We all discussed the\u00a0common side effects and share advices on how we cope with them at home. Indeed, my cancer is not your cancer<\/a>, everyone is unique and reacts to everything differently.<\/p>\n

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On Monday, Dr.J.L. for once was an on-duty Hospital doctor, so he came to check on me with 6 other residents. Frankly, by now I have no other questions but about the recovery and rehabilitation process. They scheduled me for a meeting with a physical therapist<\/a> to assess my condition and perhaps schedule a treatment to get me back on my feet. In the last 5 months, I learnt how to mitigate my side effects more or less effectively, but I am at loss when it comes to what will come next. When will be the day when I say – I became “normal self” 6 months after my chemo was over, 18 months, 24 months? For now, my goal is\u00a0to be “normal” the day I come back home.<\/p>\n

A small accident happened on Monday night when my roommate stepped out and somebody came to the ward and stole their computer, electronic translator and a box for hearing aid. It was particularly bad because I was in the room too, but resting with my eyes closed, so I heard the brisk steps but didn’t pay attention. How\u00a0little dignity it takes to\u00a0steel from somebody\u00a0at the oncology ward. May they burn in hell.<\/p>\n

The same evening, Dimitris brought two cakes for the nurse stations in the South and Central to celebrate my last chemo. Nurses do their jobs as well as they can, but I wanted to let them know that I appreciate even the smallest, the most incremental gestures they made to make me feel better and I know that many of them went beyond their call of duty to do so. It was my small token of appreciation.<\/p>\n

My last chemo pack was over at 3 am on Tuesday morning and after\u00a0requesting an additional dosage of Aloxi, I was sent home by 9 am.<\/p>\n